Diagnosis

Did you know that it takes approximately 12 years and seeing 6 different doctors to recieve a diagnosis for PMDD?

I guess you could say I always knew something was “wrong” with me. I spent so much time going to doctors for years trying to figure out what it was. I think looking back I am realizing it was hard to pinpoint anything because all the different symptoms I experienced were all over the place and could be blamed for other things.

Oh, well you’re ADHD so that explains the brain fog and difficulty concentrating.

You’re depressed? Suicidal? Okay, here, we’ll slap on the label major depressive disorder. Does that fufill your need for understanding?

What do you mean you have trouble hearing? Tinitus? Extreme sesitivity to sound? Ahhh, acute hearing loss and migraines.

Alopecia? Well we don’t even know what that stems from but most people who have it are also extremely stressed.

Seizures? That was a weird and random couple times.

I could go on and on with this list of different reasons I have been to doctors over the years never getting full answers or understanding. I still don’t have full understanding, but knowing I had PMDD was half the battle.

I actually had to tell my doctor that I thought I had PMDD (I think this happens with most people). My mom called me one day and said I should talk to my doctor about PMDD. She had been speaking to her doctor about me and explaining what some of my symptoms were. Ironically, I had no idea my mom had even been paying attention like that. In passing I would make jokes about my “crazy day” and how it was always during ovulation and not the week before my period like people suffering from regular PMS. At some point I actually started telling people that God was paying me back for being on a birth control for seven years that stopped my period entirely. “Just making up for lost time”, I would say.

Around the same time my mom told me about PMDD I had just started seeing a new psychologist for my depression. For years I had been against antidepressants because of what they did to me when I was younger and forced to take them but I wanted to talk to a doctor that I trusted and I didn’t want to close myself off to the potential of actually recieving good and useful help.

THIS IS A BIG PROBLEM. So often people become entirely frustrated by how difficult it is to find a good doctor that people just give up entirely. So many people become ANTI all these different medications or methodologies because one form didn’t work one time and it took so long to get to that point the thought of starting over is too unbearable. But the trial and error is necessary. It is hard work and it is beyond annoying, but it is worth it.

I had finally found a doctor I could openly talk about being bisexual with. I felt comfortable talking about my traumas and wasn’t worried about him judging me for anything! Which is very important when finding a doctor. Having a doctor you can trust to say anything to will save you and help you get to solutions quicker.

This is the doctor who had informed me about SSRIs and being ADHD (read more in previous blog posts). I did try Bupropion for a few months. The first month it worked GREAT. However, for me after month three I became so detached from the world I didn’t care about ANYTHING. I was in my last semester of my masters program and I was acting like the token stoner friend in any comedy movie that couldn’t be bothered to get off the couch. Mentally that was pretty wonderful and I laugh thinking about it but if I hadn’t stopped taking that I would probably still be on that couch right now.

I recently found this page on IAPMDs website.

https://iapmd.org/provider-directory

It is a place where you can search for reccomended providers from people in the PMD community. They have OBGYNs, and psychiatrists all around the world! I actually used it yesterday. I recently moved to the area I live and I want all of my doctors to be practitioners whom know of PMDD and actively see patients with PMDD. I have an appointment with a new GYNO this morning and has some consultations with different psychologists set up this month as well.

Please remember, I only found out I had PMDD a little over a year ago. Even though it has only been a year I have been battling with the disorder much longer and figuring out all the details is still a frustrating thing even after a year. Be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself. You know you already are aggressively productive outside of the dungeon cave mode. So allow yourself the space to sink into that cave as much as you need to when those times come.